i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
