the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
