Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
