kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
