think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
it glows. i had to have it.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
