Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
