dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
A+ Viking dick
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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