I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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