so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
