Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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