and i looked up. we had an audience...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
