Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
