I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
