Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
