Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
