I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
