I just saw a hot homeless man
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
