so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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