Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
