I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
i am craving dick and cupcakes
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize