I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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