you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
