i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
