I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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