yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
