So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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