I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
