She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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