Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
