He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We have so much sex to catch up on
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize