These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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