I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
