All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
420 ftw
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
