therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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