their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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