turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
