he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
