Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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