So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
