Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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