Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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