We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize