I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Are my feet made of real feet?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize