when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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