I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It's official drugs can't kill me
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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