I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
