I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
