Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
