if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
