Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
