im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
