We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
