I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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