She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
