my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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