why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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