"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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