what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
