Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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