Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
