It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
