I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
