If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
