There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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